Steve Lundeberg

Saturday’s post dealt with the challenges presented when, on any given day, the amount of space available for obituaries doesn’t match the amount of obit copy we need to get in the paper. Either situation — too many obits and not enough space, or the opposite — can be kind of a headache.

At the end of that post, I said I’d been giving some thought — joking thought — to how the news of my passing might be appropriately expressed. Truthfully, I believe an obit should say someone “died.” Not “went to his final resting place” or “joined his loved ones in heaven” or even “passed away.” I’m a newsman — an increasingly curmudgeonly one it sometimes seems — and we newsmen prefer plain language in obits, leaving the flowery stuff for eulogies (even there, it’s often a bit much).

Anyway, putting aside my middle-aged grumpiness for a few minutes, I pondered some euphemistic phrases that might fittingly describe the death and reflect the life of yours truly. Here we go. Please, vote for your favorites:

Steve Lundeberg, has-been ballplayer, enthusiastic motorcycle rider, devoted animal owner, rock-and-roll devotee and  longtime writer/editor at the Democrat-Herald, …

a) had the final out recorded against his name.

b) has twisted the throttle for the last time.

c) has become a lot less interesting to his dogs.

d) has kissed the sky; ’scuse him while he does.

e) saw the great editor in the sky highlight his name and hit the delete key.

f) hung up the old spikes for the final time.

g) won’t have to worry about speeding tickets anymore, presumably at least.

h) will get a chance to see if his departed dogs sit, stay and fetch any better in heaven than they did on earth.

i) has climbed the stairway to heaven.

j) has left the newsroom for an interview with God.

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