In one of our county’s smaller communities, a stone’s throw from the South Santiam River, there’s kind of a cool-looking little church that I ride by every now and then. Recently, though, I noticed its sign was missing a couple letters, conjuring up some rather amusing images in my mind, in a BBC sort of way:
“The Waterloo Chap,” I said to news editor Kim Jackson. “It sounds like somebody in a ‘Benny Hill’ skit. Or the main character in a sitcom or reality show involving a British gentleman being forced to live in east Linn County.”
Thus did I begin to think up some possible episode premises for such a program. And if “The Waterloo Chap” ends up being an international sensation, please remember where you heard all this first and come testify at my copyright infringement lawsuit:
– Being fond of motor cars, the Chap pays a visit to Willamette Speedway and finds he’s the only spectator wearing a top hat and flowing white scarf. Some interesting conversation ensues.
– (Part one) Exploring to the east, the Chap stumbles into Cascadia, where the locals just aren’t sure what to make of him.
– (Part two) On his way back to Waterloo, the Chap drops by the Frontier Lounge in Sweet Home for a snifter of brandy.
– The Chap travels to Albany for a serving of bangers and mash at the Pepper Tree Sausage House and then shops for derbies and ascots at the antique store across the street.
– The Chap encounters some strange looks when he shows up at the Albany Rifle & Pistol Club hoping to fire off a few rounds with his Derringer.
As you can see, the possibilities are endless. Still, I am ending this list for now. Time to go home and raise a pint or two of Guinness, or whatever I happen to have on hand.
